NOT a kid friendly post

*****If your one of my 5 darling cousins under the age of 15, you are not allowed to read this post and If I find out you did or ever hear you repeat any of the words that I am about to type, I will beat you up!!!*****

I am an emotional wreck today. I have completely lost my shit. And I don't know how it happened. I was perfectly fine this morning when I left the house. Then I talked to my first unsuspecting victim, my mom, bless her soul, and I was totally irrational, rude and bitchy about something that didn't even call for rude, irrational or bitchy. Then after hanging up, I felt so terrible for being such a bitch and I know, hurting her feelings, that I emotionally lost it. Sobbing to the point of hyperventilating but trying to do so quietly and neatly as not to mess up my make up so that my poor co-workers didn't suspect what was obviously going on; A MENTAL BREAKDOWN! As if the swollen red eyes wouldn't give it away at first glance. Then BFF called during the middle of it and she had to try and talk me back to sanity which worked for a few hours until I went to my car to go grab lunch and discovered a blue parking ticket from Capitol FN Police for parking in a visitors parking spot. Which I have been doing since the beginning of MAY mind you. They've seen me wobble to and from that damn parking spot everyday for 2 months and they decide to write me a ticket today of all damn days!!! Well that just sent me right back over the ledge. At first I was just extremely pissed, yelling every profane word that came to mind to myself in my car on the way out of the garage. Then I had the bright idea that when I got back I was going to march my swollen, chaffed ass right up to the security desk and give them hell for the biggest mistake of their careers until God no doubt intervened and saved them from my tongue lashing (and me from being arrested) and gave me one clear, rational, thought for one, very brief moment and directed me to call my dear friend Jake. Who, I'm sure now also thinks I've gone completely postal because I couldn't even get out 2 sentences of my story and ask him for his help before I started crying again. OVER A FREAKING PARKING TICKET FROM CAPITOL POLICE. How ridiculous is that.? I've lost it. I've completely lost my shit. And while I guess it's some great achievement that it took me a whole 9 months to go crazy, I feel like a COMPLETE idiot. Haley and Josh want to take Darrell and me to Bonefish tonight for a "last supper" and I'm not even sure it's safe for me to go. I mean, for all I know I could go completely psychotic if I ask for water and the waiter brings me a sprite or something. Is a social outing safe for the other members of society, let alone my dear husband and best friends? I'm finishing a few things up and getting the hell out of here before I decide jumping out my 10th floor window is a good idea.